It is difficult for a man to define himself and, even more so, to cope in today’s world: he can be nervous but not neurotic, he can be sensitive but not hysterical. A man can be moody but not depressed; motivated, but not aggressive; kind, but not drippy. He should be self-confident, but never feel superior , said Attila Beneda at the “Men in the Spotlight” conference, as reported by the Magyar Nemzet daily. The Deputy Secretary of State for Family Affairs at the Ministry of Culture and Innovation believes that while it is worth reflecting on what it means to be a man today, it is not necessarily something we need to define.
The conference was attended by business leaders, employees from numerous companies and professionals.
The Deputy Secretary of State also said that the government wants every family to be free to decide how many children they have, how long to stay at home with them and what family benefits to claim.. We have tried to introduce all family support elements in a way that men and fathers can benefit from, he added. We are trying to further expand family support, and we have already adopted proposals for next year. Fathers can now apply for part-time work until the age of eight for their youngest child, and paternity leave after the birth of a child will be increased to ten days, he added.
It is important that when we think of families and children, we also think of fathers, as their duties should not be just about earning a living.
We must give dads the opportunity to be part of the moments that help to forge families into a unit. The future of your relationship with your child and your relationship with your partner can depend on these actions.
Attila Benede also drew attention to the fact that the life expectancy of men is significantly lower than that of women and that they lag behind in terms of years spent in good health. We must catch up for our own sake, for the sake of women and for the sake of our society, summarized the Deputy State Secretary.
It is important that fathers are truly part of our society , said psychologist László Léder, one of the hosts of the conference and founder of the Father Academy, the organizer of the conference.
A US survey from 1999 shows how vital the role and presence of fathers is. According to research, 75 percent of people in drug centers , 80 percent of rapists and 85 percent of juveniles in prison grew up without a father. These figures show that the father’s presence is crucial , he pointed out in his presentation. Léder also stated that in the modern experience of fatherhood, it is essential to rethink our divorce practices, as the civil war between fathers and mothers can seal the fate of generations.
Recent research shows that young men are becoming increasingly infertile, which can be a consequence of mental and physical exhaustion, depression and the resulting unhealthy lifestyle , Léder pointed out in his speech. Additionally, most Hungarian mothers believe that men are primarily breadwinners, while expectations also include that fathers should be family-oriented.
These expectations are not easy to meet. As a result, paternal depression is becoming more common and can last for years, while in most cases it remains hidden; the father is depressed, can’t find his place and role in the family, can’t find joy, and blames himself for not being able to connect, when he is ‘only’ depressed,” Léder explained at the conference. He also pointed out that a significant number of men in their thirties still live at home with their parents.