‘Indians’ chopped; wokeism has now given us the Cleveland ‘Guardians’

The Major League Baseball club's public relations thrust is to build "unity" and "family", but all it does is reinforce the left's unrelenting wokeism.

From the recent UEFA European Football Championships, to the current Tokyo Olympic Games–and seemingly everywhere in between in the sporting world–there is the persistent hammering of leftist doctrine on the general public. It’s a constant cudgeling that won’t let you forget anytime soon to get woke, or go broke.

The most recent addition to the laundry list is the Cleveland Indians of Major League Baseball.

Did I say ‘Indians’? Oh, forgive me. Habits die hard. I meant the “Guardians”.

The team announced Friday that they’ll be playing the 2022 season as the Cleveland Guardians. And for Tribe die-hards, the habit of going to a nickname which has adorned the franchise since 1915 will be a hard one to break.

The reason for the name change? To eliminate any mention or reference to the first inhabitants of the land; to obliterate any memory of the native peoples who would contribute in the building of a great nation.

Oops. There I go again. My bad.

The reason for the change is to… well, lemme see here… ah, yes: to mark a “time to unite as one family, one community, to build the next era for this team and this city.” Words delivered by Tom Hanks through the Indi…um, er… Guardians p-r machine.

From the moment Hanks blurts out his first words, the first thing that pops into your mind is, “why did Hanks record this voice-over from his laundry room”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Tom’s laundry room is cavernous. But it’s no place for a multi-multi million dollar Hollywood actor to be plying his trade for a multi-million dollar professional baseball organization in an attempt to appeal to the multitudes.

And that voice over. Didn’t it feel more than a tad rushed? Sure Hanks has some chops, but it just lacks passion and authenticity. Truth be told in the voice-over business, high-end Hollywood names are a sure bet for campaigns such as this. But this one misses the mark, big-time. But then, most woke-pimping is a forced feel, isn’t it? I couldn’t help but chuckle when thinking about the suits in the boardroom drumming up this idea: “Well JR, how about Tom Hanks? Yes. YES, Smith! Tom Hanks! Hanks, it is!!”

Yeah. Let’s go with the elderly, establishment, rich, white guy to rep the diversity crowd. Shake my damn head.

And it’s not like Hanks has any real ties to the city of Cleveland. I’ve seen a few of his movies, but don’t know that much about the man. Though, diving in with some simple math, I can deduce that he spent maybe two years in Cleveland as a 20-something. Needless to say, this would not be lost on dyed-in-the-wool Cleveland baseball fans who are more than a little familiar with their native sons and daughters.

But c’mon, couldn’t they have gone with someone else who had deeper roots? Good grief, Halle Berry spent her first 22 years there! She was a high-school cheerleader and prom queen. She even went to Cuyahoga Community College (Cuyahoga is an Iroquoian word which may be a derivation of “crooked river”, dontcha know).

Beautiful. Black. Woman. Hellooooo?

But the suits went with Hanks. And they went with those words that Hanks would dispassionately deliver… “we remember those moments, as we move forward with change.” For family. For community. For unity.

We could take the words at face-value, but who are we kidding? There are no family-values and community being pushed by the woke mobs. Perhaps CNN says it best: “The move is part of a larger cultural shift across the US as corporate brands re-examine their use of racist caricatures and stereotypical names.”

The Cleveland baseball organization’s shift began, in earnest, the moment George Floyd’s death went viral. And the news spurred other pro sports organizations to “re-examine” their nicknames. The NFL franchise in the nation’s capital is now called, simply, the Washington Football Team. It ain’t pretty, but neither is any of this exclusive inclusivity. The football team north of the border–in the Canadian Football League–shifted from the *ahem* exceedingly offensive Edmonton Eskimos; officially adopting Elks on June 1st, 2021.

Back in January, on the day legend Hank Aaron passed away, there rose a call for the Atlanta Braves to stop being so racist and remove “Braves” from their baseball nameplate. Tom’s son Colin took to Twitter not to mourn the passing of an icon, but to mobilize the woke army. I’ll quote Forrest Gump quoting his mama: stupid is, as stupid does.

Over a year ago, the Braves organization released a statement that they won’t change their name. They still haven’t. But the woke don’t sleep.

But for Cleveland… why Guardians? Apparently, it’s a reference to some rather large stone edifices which serve as landmarks book-ending the Hope Memorial Bridge which connects downtown to Ohio City. You should see these things. Like something out of a Peter Jackson flick… minus the goosebumps. Even club owner Paul Dolan had to muscle his way around an explanation that would suit tying his ball club to some huge art deco sculptures which are… guardians… of… well… uh…

Traffic.

“Frankly, I hadn’t studied them that closely until we started talking about them and I should emphasize, we’re not named after the bridge, but there’s no question that it’s a strong nod to those and what they mean to the community,” he said following a news conference at the ballpark.

Not named after a bridge? Whew. Thanks for that, Paul.

On behalf of a legion of tried and true ball fans established in Cleveland since 1894, thanks for that.

Which is to say, thanks for nothing.

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